The Gifts Others Give Unwittingly

Whether we realize it or not other people give us invisible gifts.  Occasionally, they are painful, hurtful, nasty and mean.  However, their beauty is so tantalizing they are often impossible to resist.  Regardless of their attraction, some unwittingly turn down an opportunity for personal growth when they refuse these gifts. You might be asking yourself, what exactly are these “invisible gifts”?   It’s difficult to explain, but maybe I can with an example.

When he plays his music it touches her deep inside, causing emotional agony. 

She dances to keep herself from crying.  The dancing is a purification ritual.  

He symbolizes father and the loss of father.  When a father disappears, he leaves abandonment in place of himself. When a father leaves a baby daughter, he takes from her, her first love and leaves a vast empty space, a deep need of closeness, comfort, security, peace, strength, love and his daily presence.

His music symbolizes repressed feelings that are unexpressed and are connected to a great and permanent loss. The emptiness has become filled with an enduring pain.  Since he represents father and loss, through the playing of his music he touches the exact part of her damaged and broken, heart and soul.

The deprivation of dad was sustained before she had words to articulate, but could feel.  When she is listening to his music, painful emotions lacking words well up inside of her. Since it is more acceptable and creative, when one is listening to music to dance, rather than cry, she dances.  As she dances the feelings of sorrow and pain are released.  Setting her free at last from a tangle of feelings that are mixed both mother and daughter.  (When we are born it is into their world that we are introduced.  We learn to feel, love, live, and be from our parent who first appears to us as self.)

Without him knowing it, his music that he plays is her gift as it helps release sorrow from the soul, that cannot be articulated with words, but only through dance. She gratefully accepts this gift complete with pain as she knows it promotes growth and gives peace.

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