My childhood severely depressed me. My childhood almost destroyed me. The realization that one’s childhood was unstable, scary, and sad is depressing. My childhood was such, I feel, due to others bustling around acting out each feeling or whim, reacting rather than thinking, and making choices that hurt themselves and others. They were behaving like I can when I’m occasionally feeling “crazy” (I define as: unreasonable, irrational, and reactionary) and make destructive and hurtful choices. Except they seem to possess no self-control, operating crazily continually, as if no sane choices existed!
And so it goes without saying that even though I have isolated and separated myself from my family, that I continually run into people who are running around acting crazy. All I have to say is that it is difficult to think and act rationally, much easier to react without thinking. So I wonder are we all just like Pavlov’s dog, trained to salivate when our senses detect the meat? Yes, I believe we are.