Let’s Just Fly Baby!

Last week four baby birds were chirping lively in their nest just outside my patio.  Now only one remains.  For the past few mornings I have seen the parents and siblings flying around and landing on the nearby chain linked fence and various desert succulents in my backyard.  A few times a day, I see the red headed male Finch land near the nest and chirp at the lone baby.

Now here’s a fellow creature I relate to completely. I want to stay in my nest too!  The one I built when my children were needy babies.

Since I am not in the middle of the bird’s struggle to leave its nest I see so many positive things to look forward to like freedom, flying (risky but probably a lot of fun), joining the family, and eventually creating its own family.

But I wonder if the bird is as anxious as I am? Truthfully, I am struggling with accepting this new job (even though it’s what I want).  I am terrified of the necessary changes I will need to endure.  My fear of the unknown blinds me from comprehending the positives that I know intellectually must exist. But like my bird friend I am in the middle of this transition and can’t seem to step outside and even imagine what lies ahead. (I confess, I am imagining bad stuff. UGH!)

Sometimes I wish I could extinguish my anxiety.  Once I actually did by using Xanax.  A dentist recommended sedation to help me through some difficult dental procedures.  It worked, but it took me away.  I no longer cared (worried or stressed) about the things that mattered most to me.  That was when I first began to realize that my anxiety is what makes me creative, passionate, hard-working, strong, fearless, driven. It’s my grit and a big positive part of who I am. Without it I am lost.

I think it’s about time I stop trying to get rid of my anxiety and accept it for what it really is, my best friend.

House Finch (Carpodacus mexicanus)

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