Bring Back Naptime!

Moving forward toward what?

Sometimes it feels like my body can’t keep moving and I have to stop

But I can’t stop, I have to force myself to keep going

Baseball, swimming, driving, dog walking, dinner, dining, dishes, lunches, everyone else’s wishes

And while I force myself to go, I know that what lies ahead is more and more

Of the same f o r c i n g  m y s e l f  to keep  m o v i n g

I feel lost in space, an unidentifiable place,

My mind can’t remember, my brain simply can’t think

It feels like a dimmer is making me weak

Driving gets dangerous as I begin to stare

At something that probably isn’t even there

And while I stare I tell myself this little story

I’m completely absorbed

“Is that a snake?  It looks awfully large.  It’s gone across the road with a giant barrier…it’ll never get across…it’s going to get hit…smashed flat like a pancake…Is that a red light…oh my!” and crush my feet on the breaks.

Somehow I arrived home safely with my precious needy cargo (hungry, tired, mess making creature that I adore)

Then suddenly for no reason I hear a horrible screech!

Is that horrible screeching coming from me?

I should have known I was way beyond my life tolerance

When I was young, I was giddy like a clown

Ugh, but now I’m grumpy like a scary old lady with a deep frown

Who am I again?

Why can’t I just stay twenty?

Or maybe even thirty.

I’ve gotten so old that I don’t dare care

Well I do but I won’t allow it and don’t

Cause I have too much to lose

Not weight, but this path that I’m on

I’m too invested to deviate from this particular road

Just one more day, one more way, to stay to this path

That screeching was me, not letting myself rest

Ugh so much work, no time to relax

But resting keeps me sane sometimes when I can’t stand it all

Burying myself deep under blankets and pillows

Not letting in any light, ah I think I could sleep here for the rest of my life

When I get up that screeching lady is gone

And the path I was on doesn’t seem so dark and long

I appreciate those that I love, the dishes, lunches, and all of the above

 

 

 

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