Moving forward toward what?
Sometimes it feels like my body can’t keep moving and I have to stop
But I can’t stop, I have to force myself to keep going
Baseball, swimming, driving, dog walking, dinner, dining, dishes, lunches, everyone else’s wishes
And while I force myself to go, I know that what lies ahead is more and more
Of the same f o r c i n g m y s e l f to keep m o v i n g
I feel lost in space, an unidentifiable place,
My mind can’t remember, my brain simply can’t think
It feels like a dimmer is making me weak
Driving gets dangerous as I begin to stare
At something that probably isn’t even there
And while I stare I tell myself this little story
I’m completely absorbed
“Is that a snake? It looks awfully large. It’s gone across the road with a giant barrier…it’ll never get across…it’s going to get hit…smashed flat like a pancake…Is that a red light…oh my!” and crush my feet on the breaks.
Somehow I arrived home safely with my precious needy cargo (hungry, tired, mess making creature that I adore)
Then suddenly for no reason I hear a horrible screech!
Is that horrible screeching coming from me?
I should have known I was way beyond my life tolerance
When I was young, I was giddy like a clown
Ugh, but now I’m grumpy like a scary old lady with a deep frown
Who am I again?
Why can’t I just stay twenty?
Or maybe even thirty.
I’ve gotten so old that I don’t dare care
Well I do but I won’t allow it and don’t
Cause I have too much to lose
Not weight, but this path that I’m on
I’m too invested to deviate from this particular road
Just one more day, one more way, to stay to this path
That screeching was me, not letting myself rest
Ugh so much work, no time to relax
But resting keeps me sane sometimes when I can’t stand it all
Burying myself deep under blankets and pillows
Not letting in any light, ah I think I could sleep here for the rest of my life
When I get up that screeching lady is gone
And the path I was on doesn’t seem so dark and long
I appreciate those that I love, the dishes, lunches, and all of the above